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Her dress had arrived on time and fitted perfectly.The groom looked immaculate in his tux and tripped over his vows where his nerves mangled his tongue in a mouth that was drier that the Sahara dessert.The lavish reception had been no less a success. Seamus's best man made a speech, which although bawdy in places had delighted and entertained all of those invited. Uncle Mick did his usual party trick of dancing like a puppet with tangled strings and landed flat on his back, sliding under one of the tables that ringed the dance floor. His legs stuck out from under the tablecloth and there he stayed.The five-tiered cake stood up. Bets had been taken at what point it would topple. Strangely, no one had wagered that it wouldn't collapse. They would have cleaned up, but it did look precarious, balanced as it was, on slim pedestals, tier upon tier with a bride and groom perched on the smallest cake at the top.Auntie Maud got drunk on the punch and fell off the seat that had been placed. Then he must have realized how funny it all was, because he just started laughing with me, until finally we were both sitting on the ground, our arms around each other's shoulders like the best pals we really were, laughing until the tears were racing down our faces.I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. "Splat," I said. That started us going all over again.By the time we were finally calmed down, we were lying on our backs on the ground, my bicycle still blocking the sidewalk as it lay on its side."Okay," wheezed Jake, "enough of this. What the fuck's going on? And, by the way, where did you get the protection?"Well, that nearly got me going again as I described my trip into his father's drug store with Josh to buy the condoms."No shit, my dad helped you guys out? Man, I wonder what he was thinking," marveled Jake."It took us by surprise, believe me," I said. "I really didn't know what to say to him." Yeah, I'll bet," said Jake. "So, Sean, what are you going to do?"I sighed. I.
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